Day 5: Change

Dear You,

I attribute what I am today because of numerous people who have been and still are in my life. Changes in myself can be traced back to people who have influenced me a lot over my 18 years. Let me say that you are someone who has changed me, definitely. However, I am not sure if it is for better or for worse. I have yet to think about it. It's funny that I actually believe that I'm more smarter now after knowing you. You, of all people, taught me life lessons that nobody could ever have, albeit you may not know it.

You are one of the reasons why I am who I am today.

Did this change make me better? In some ways, it did. This change made me realize that I'm wasting my time lining up for a ride but with the knowledge that I will never get in. Maybe I am just meant to be a spectator in your life, someone who's meekly watching. This change helped me understand that wasting my precious youth on someone who probably appreciates me but does not give the attention, love and concern that I deserve. This change made me recognize that I want to enjoy being 18, not cooped up in some fantasy on whether you're finally going to notice me grow up.

I am glad you brought out that change in me.

But I still love you and I hope that will change too.

Janine